Self-Care for High Anxiety: What Actually Helps When Your Nervous System Feels on Overdrive
Living with high anxiety isn’t just “feeling stressed.” It’s waking up with your heart already racing. It’s lying in bed, wide awake, while your brain replays every unfinished task. It’s the knot in your stomach that never seems to let up.
And while the world loves to say “just relax” or “try self-care”, when you’re highly anxious, the usual advice (bubble baths, candles, spa days) can feel a little insulting—or like putting a band-aid on a storm.
Real self-care for high anxiety is less about pampering and more about grounding, regulating, and giving your nervous system actual relief.
Here are a few practices that help:
1. Start With Small, Containable Calming Tools
When anxiety is high, big goals (“I’ll meditate for 30 minutes”) can feel impossible. Instead, go micro:
Box breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat 3–4 times.
Cold water reset: Splash your face with cold water or hold an ice cube. It cues your body to reset.
5-4-3-2-1 grounding: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
These are quick, accessible, and actually regulate your nervous system in the moment.
2. Prioritize Predictability
Anxious minds feed on uncertainty. Creating small predictable anchors in your day can bring stability:
A consistent wake-up and bedtime (even if you’re not sleeping well yet).
A short daily ritual (tea, journaling, a morning walk) that signals safety and routine.
Pre-deciding meals or outfits to cut down decision fatigue.
Predictability doesn’t solve anxiety, but it helps reduce the number of triggers that can spin it out of control.
3. Move Your Body (Without Pressure)
Exercise is often pushed as a cure-all, but when you’re highly anxious, intense workouts can sometimes spike stress hormones. Instead, try:
Gentle movement like walking, stretching, yoga, or dancing in your living room.
Movement with grounding like tai chi, swimming, or hiking.
Short bursts if long workouts feel daunting—5 minutes counts.
The goal isn’t fitness gains. It’s to discharge anxious energy and remind your body that it’s safe to slow down.
4. Watch Your Input
High anxiety can be fueled by what you consume:
Limit doomscrolling, especially at night.
Notice caffeine’s impact (sometimes even “just one cup” is too much).
Be mindful of overstimulation—constant noise, screens, or multitasking can keep your system revved up.
Sometimes self-care means protecting your mental space from unnecessary chaos.
5. Build “Safe Enough” Spaces
Self-care for high anxiety isn’t only what you do but where you are.
Make one area of your home a calm zone—clutter-free, low light, soft textures.
Use sensory grounding: weighted blanket, calming scents, or a favorite playlist.
If home doesn’t feel safe, create a portable version (a grounding kit in your bag with gum, earbuds, or a calming object).
Your nervous system heals best when it has somewhere to land.
6. Practice Self-Compassion, Not Perfection
High anxiety often comes with self-criticism: “Why can’t I just calm down?” But piling on judgment only heightens the cycle. Self-care here looks like:
Saying to yourself: “This is my anxiety talking—it’s not the whole me.”
Allowing rest without guilt.
Remembering that self-care is not about “fixing” yourself—it’s about supporting yourself through the storm.
A Final Note
If you’re living with high anxiety, you’re not failing at self-care if a bubble bath doesn’t help or if meditation feels impossible. Real self-care is about meeting your body and mind where they are—not where you think they should be.
Start small. Choose one tool. Build from there. And most importantly, give yourself permission to care for your anxiety in ways that are actually supportive, not performative.
